I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
