You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
