Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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