windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
