I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
