id be glad to
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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