I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
