New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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