escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I am naked and annoyed.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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