Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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