It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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