that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
