Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
And then he peed in my hair
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