its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
