If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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