Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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