So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
