I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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