I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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