So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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