if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
