Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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