I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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