these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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