I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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