I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
