I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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