i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
