is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
