Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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