so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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