how can u be prego again
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
