he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
