I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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