It's like God shit irony all over that family
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
