I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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