He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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