Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
