i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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