i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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