Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Randomize
