Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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