I met the friendliest cop last night
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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