Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
