My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
