Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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