Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
