you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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