you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
