come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
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How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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