Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
