I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
