Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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