So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
