pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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