Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
