So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Green mimosas i think yes
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
