In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
