Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
