I look better un-naked...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
