drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
