Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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