It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
