so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
