So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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