all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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