so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
