He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
