i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
